Bad Bookkeeper

Currently, I am in the process of putting together Betty's Bookkeeper's "Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper" entries into a single eBook as per the request of many of my readers.  In that eBook, there will be all of the entries from this website - entries of embezzlement and how to stop YOUR Betty Bookkeepers - plus there will be many extra entries from Betty's personal life (just to really round out what a bad bookkeeper's life might look like).

However, until that time comes, I have been asked to put the entries into some kind of cohesive format.  So, for now, here's the best I can offer...direct links to the various articles - in order.

Thank you to everyone who is helping me make Betty as clever and conniving as possible.

--E.T. Barton

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Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper – (Day 1) A New Job

Dear Diary, I just started my new job today, and it’s perfect.  It’s a small company with only a few employees, most of whom are never in the office – they all work “in the field.”  Also, there’s a receptionist, so I won’t have to be constantly answering the phone (thank goodness for that).  The [...]

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper – (Day 9) In the Clear

Dear Diary, Well, it’s been a little over a week, and I would say I’ve got “the lay of the land.”   Apparently, the Owner wasn’t kidding when he said he’d be out of the office a lot.  I have yet to actually see him in the office for more than an hour a day.  He [...]

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper (Day 14) – The Carnage Begins

Well Diary, Today was the day… the FIRST day that I stole from the company. Today, I forged my first check with the owner’s signature. I would have done it a couple days ago – as soon as I found out the owner doesn’t open the bank statements, and in fact expects me to do [...]

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper (Day 30) – The Double Payday Scam

Dear Diary, Today was payday – the second since I’ve been here.  I figured it was about time to test the Double Payday Scam – to see if my boss would actually catch me. So, I started the day by doing the Payroll.  Just like two weeks ago, I created and took all of the [...]

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper (Day 40) – Stealing the Boss’s Identity

I got a new credit card today. Well, technically, I got a new “company credit card” today. When the boss wasn’t around, I went ahead and called his credit card company and told them we had lost his company card and needed a new one. They asked me for all of the usual identifying information [...]

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper (Day 55) – The Sister Company Scam

Dear Diary, Today I became a business owner.  That’s right, I’ve opened my own business and am about to make a million dollars the easy way – with little or no money down.  Okay – I spent a little money.  But technically, it wasn’t my money.  It was my boss’s money – or maybe I [...]

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper: (Day 72) Bank Balance? What Bank Balance?

Today, was a funny day.  The boss came into my office, and he had this look on his face.  It was a look like, I’m gonna get answers – no matter what. Pasting an innocent expression on my face, I quickly hid the Mafia Wars game on my computer screen and turned my full attention [...]

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper – (Day 97) The Shell Company Scam

Dear Diary, Another day, another dollar…or at least, another stolen dollar. Well – I’ve had my own company for about two weeks now and I’ve made a couple thousand dollars skimming off the deposits.  The boss hasn’t noticed.  As far as he’s concerned, all of the invoices are paid, and I’m doing my job incredibly [...]

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper (Day 112) – Theft by Signature Stamp

Dear Diary, Today the boss went on vacation and guess what he gave me…the Signature Stamp.  I couldn’t believe it when he handed it to me.  I think my smile was from ear-to-ear.  Doesn’t he realize how stupid it is to give me the signature stamp? “Are you sure you want to give this to [...]

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper (Day 127) – The Payroll Tax Scam

Dear Diary, Today, I was bored at work.  Really bored.  I mean – surf-the-internet-looking-for-designer-handbags bored.  (And I don’t even like designer handbags…although I wouldn’t mind a Brighton.) Anyway…it was Payroll Day, which usually I’m happy about.  When payroll comes around, I take my sweet time entering all the timecards and wages.  I tell the boss [...]

Today was a not-so-great day.  Apparently, I have a partner now.  I never intended to have a partner, but it appears I have no choice in the matter.  Here’s what happened:I was in my office (innocently shredding checks), when I suddenly heard a man say, “I know what you’re doing.”  [...]

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    I am so glad to hear that you are going to put out an ebook. I will post links to it all over the place. As the owner of a bookkeeping firm, I too see these schemes happening often. We hear about it on the news all the time. I am conducting a workshop tomorrow and one of my topics is preventing theft. I will be passing out this website address and urging everyone to become familiar with all these tactics. Thanks for making it educational as well as entertaining.

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