Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper – (Day 9) In the Clear

Betty Bookkeeper Headshot

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Dear Diary,

Well, it’s been a little over a week, and I would say I’ve got “the lay of the land.”   Apparently, the Owner wasn’t kidding when he said he’d be out of the office a lot.  I have yet to actually see him in the office for more than an hour a day.  He comes into the office in the morning to give his field guys their daily assignments, then he talks to me for about 10 minutes before he too heads … Read More

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper (Day 14) – The Carnage Begins

Well Diary,

Betty Bookkeeper HeadshotToday was the day… the FIRST day that I stole from the company.  Today, I forged my first check with the owner’s signature. I would have done it a couple days ago – as soon as I found out the owner doesn’t open the bank statements, and in fact expects me to do it – but the owner suddenly changed his pattern. Instead of staying out of the office, like he had done every … Read More

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper (Day 112) – Theft by Signature Stamp

Betty Bookkeeper Headshot

Dear Diary,

Today the boss went on vacation and guess what he gave me…the Signature Stamp.  I couldn’t believe it when he handed it to me.  I think my smile was from ear-to-ear.  Doesn’t he realize how stupid it is to give me the signature stamp?

“Are you sure you want to give this to me?” I asked all innocent like.  In the back of my mind, I was already calculating how much money I might be able to get now that I had this new stamp.

“Of course.  I trust you,” he told me with an amused little smirk.

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Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper (Day 195) – The IRS

Betty Bookkeeper Headshot

Dear Diary,

Today I got a notice from the IRS.  Luckily, the receptionist passed the letter to me unopened before the boss saw it (she didn’t know what it was), and he doesn’t know it’s here.

Opening the letter, I was shocked.  The IRS said that the company owned payroll taxes on the paychecks for the last three months that I’ve been here, and since we hadn’t paid when we were supposed to, we now owe penalties and interest.  Apparently, payroll taxes are due within three business days of cutting payroll checks, and the … Read More

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper – (Day 1) A New Job

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Dear Diary,

I just started my new job today, and it’s perfect.  It’s a small company with only a few employees, most of whom are never in the office – they all work “in the field.”  Also, there’s a receptionist, so I won’t have to be constantly answering the phone (thank goodness for that).  The receptionist is very friendly, and I can tell that she’s looking forward to having another woman in the office.  Most of the other employees are men – all the better for … Read More

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper: Deletions and Voids

Betty Bookkeeper Headshot

Dear Diary,

Let me just premise this entry by saying — crap crap crap crap crap.

I got a phone call from the accountant today.  It’s tax time, and the accountant wants to meet with me to go over the books.  Since I’ve never worked with this accountant before, I have no idea how closely they are going to want to look at the books.  I can’t help but fear that the accountant is going to figure out what I’ve been doing if he looks too closely at the books.  So I was in … Read More

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper: Why the Accountant Did NOT Catch Me

Dear Diary,

Let me just say – WhewWhat a relief.  Tax time is over and I got off scott-free.

You see, I was very concerned that when I handed over the business books to the accountant this year, I would be busted – caught – nailed to the wall.  I was sure I’d be in Shawshank before long, and I was almost tempted to clean up my act – almost.  I was sure I was cooked when the accountant called me a couple … Read More

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper (Day 40) – Stealing the Boss’s Identity

Betty Bookkeeper Headshot

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I got a new credit card today. Well, technically, I got a new “company credit card” today. When the boss wasn’t around, I went ahead and called his credit card company and told them we had lost his company card and needed a new one. They asked me for all of the usual identifying information – social security number, mother’s maiden name, address, phone, account number, etc. – and of course, I gave the guy on the other end of ORRead More

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper: A Warning Sign

Betty Bookkeeper Headshot

Dear Diary,

Betty Bookkeeper HeadshotToday sucked… and I mean, straight up sucked.

There I was, minding my own business, when in walks the boss with a receipt. On the receipt are stamped the letters C.O.D. It was from one of our vendors that apparently hasn’t been paid in so long, they’ve changed our account from credit to C.O.D.

“What is this, Betty?” the boss asked me. “Why has ABC Hardware turned our credit account … Read More

Diary of a Bad, Bad Bookkeeper: A Cautionary Embezzlement Tale for Small Business Owners Everywhere

Meet Betty Bookkeeper 

She’s embezzling thousands of dollars a month from her unsuspecting Small Business Owner boss. Her boss has absolutely no idea because she seems like such a good woman. It’s that trust which makes it so tempting and so easy for Betty to steal.

Do you have a Betty Bookkeeper? Or are you a Bookkeeper who worries about protecting your reputation? Then this book is for you. This book is a work of fiction with some non-fiction ORORRead More